Day 2

Mission 1: Set Your Goals

1. What 3 accomplishments would you like to achieve to make you happier?
2. Why will these accomplishments make you happier?
3. What is your personal mission: I will become _____ (my role) who will _______ (my claim to fame) within ______ (number) days/weeks/years.
   
4. Why are you fully committed to pursuing your personal mission?
   

Mission 2: Look Into Your Eyes (Optional)

There's another step you can take to reinforce your personal mission statement and strengthen your subconscious intent: self-hypnosis. There is a charismatic mind-shaping exercise specifically for the Stylelife Challenge, which is made available for you at www.stylelife.com/challenge.

After you download it, find a comfortable place free of distraction. Dim the lights, take off your shoes, and sit down or lay down. Relax. Then put on headphones and play the audio. Make sure you listen to the entire recording without interruption. It's more important to feel this experience than to see it. Try to listen to the recording every other day during the challenge. The more you repeat it, the better the result.

Mission 3: Look into Their Eyes

Your field assignment today is to go out and make small talk with 5 more strangers. But this time, there's one more thing you need to do: make eye contact with each person. Write down his or her eye color.

In the first small-talk exercise, the purpose was to develop the ability to talk to anyone without fear. Meeting new people eye to eye (being careful not to stare) will not only increase the likelihood of a response, it'll help you connect with them on a more personal level.

If you'd like to develop this crucial but subtle skill further, here's an extra-credit exercise. Try to hail a cab, get a bartender's attention, or call a waiter to your table without speaking or gesturing -- instead, use nothing but eye contact.

Mission 4: A Hint for Tomorrow

Be sure to read tomorrow's assignments the moment you wake up -- before you shower, shave, or check your email.

Day 1

Mission 1: Evaluate yourself

Fitness programs require you to weigh in on the first day. So to revamp your social life, you'll need to make a social assessment of yourself. Think (or write) of answers to the following questions. Be as honest as possible.

1. How do you believe other people currently perceive you.
2. How would you like to be perceived by others?
3. What are 3 behaviors or characteristics you would like to change?
4. What are 3 new behaviors or characteristics you would like to adopt?

Mission 2: Read and Destroy

Before moving onto the first field assignment, eliminate any beliefs you may have about interacting with women. Read the Day 1 briefing below.

Everyone is held back by some limiting belief. A limiting belief is something you believe about yourself, other people, or the world – and although it isn’t actually true, the fact that you think it is holds you back from experience and success. Anytime you think you “can’t” do something that’s within the realm of human possibility, that’s a limiting belief. Now, let’s clear the air and dispel a few of the most common limiting beliefs about dating.

LIMITING BELIEF: If I talk to her, she’ll ignore me – or even worse say something mean that will embarrass me.
REALITY: Here’s something that will surprise you. The harder it is for you to approach women, the less likely it is that you’ll be rudely rejected. Why is that? Because most people have been raised to be courteous and polite, unless they feel threatened – and a shy guy isn’t too likely to intimidate to anyone. The worst thing that’s likely to happen is that the woman will politely say that she is having a private conversation, or simply excuse herself to go the bathroom. Playing negative what-if scenarios in your head is detrimental to your emotional health. Instead, get out of the house and start approaching women, and you’ll discover that most of the things you imagine going wrong will never happen.

LIMITING BELIEF: People are looking at me, judging me, or making fun of me.
REALITY: This is half right. People may notice you, but they're not necessarily judging you – most of them are too busy worrying about what other people are thinking of them. Once you realize that most people are just like you – and that they're actually seeking your approval – you'll start to become socially fearless. Besides, most bystanders who see you approach a girl or a group assume that you know the people. So act like you do. Not only will it ease your worries about what everyone else is thinking, but it'll also make your approach more effective.

LIMITING BELIEF: Women aren’t attracted to nice guys. They like jerks.
REALITY: Fortunately, this is inaccurate. The dating dichotomy isn't actually between nice guys and mean guys, or good boys and bad boys. It's between weak guys and strong guys. Women are drawn to men who demonstrate strength -- not necessarily physical strength, but the ability to make them feel safe. So if you're a nice guy, you can still be nice, but you must also be strong. However, make sure you know what nice means, most guys who define themselves as "too nice" only behave nicely because they want everybody to like them and don't want anybody to think badly of them. So, if this is you, get off your nice high horse. Don't mistake being fearful and weak-minded for being nice.

LIMITING BELIEF: I'm not good looking, rich, or famous enough to be with a beautiful woman.
REALITY: There are plenty of multimillionaires who have the exact same problems with women that you do. Fortunately for men, the way we look doesn't matter nearly as much as how we present ourselves. And this requires only good grooming, and clothing that conveys an attractive identity. When it comes to wealth and fame, simply displaying the desire and ability to achieve them can be just as powerful. Like talent scouts, many women are attracted to men with goals and potential. And in the next 10 days, we'll be sharpening your appearance, goals, and perceived potential.

LIMITING BELIEF: There's this one girl ...
REALITY: There are many incredible women in this world. If you're hung up on one particular girl you can't get her out of your mind -- and she hasn't given you any sense that she shares the same feelings -- then recognize that's not love you're feeling, but obsession. And that obsession is likely to scare her away. The best thing you can do for yourself and her is to go out and interact with as many women as possible, until you realize that there are plenty of people out there for you -- some of whom are capable of recognizing your worth and reciprocating your feelings.

LIMITING BELIEF: All I have to do is "be myself," and eventually I'll meet the right woman who likes me for me. (Sounds like Petty)
REALITY: This works only if you know exactly who you are, what your strengths are, and how you convey them successfully. Most often, this statement is used as an excuse not to improve. What most of us present to the world isn't necessarily our true self: It's a combination of years of bad habits and fear-based behavior. Our real self lies buried underneath all the insecurities and inhibitions. So rather than just being yourself, focus on discovering and permanently bringing to the surface your best self.

LIMITING BELIEF: To figure out what women want, just ask them.
REALITY: This may be true sometimes, but not as often as people think. What women want isn't necessarily what women respond to. Furthermore, what women say they want may be what they want in a relationship, but it isn't always what attracts them during the courtship period. That said, most women will give you the information you need to attract them, but it's usually found between the lines.

LIMITING BELIEF: If I approach a woman, she'll know I'm hitting on her and think I'm lame.
REALITY: This is only partially true -- women think this only when men approach them badly. This includes men who make them uncomfortable, creep them out, or seem to have an agenda. The biggest mistake a man can make with a woman is hitting on her before she's attracted to him. And though this describes the so-called technique of most men, it's a mistake you'll avoid if you follow your daily missions. Few women will resent meeting someone who is warm, funny, sincere, interesting, engaging, makes them feel comfortable, and isn't going to sit around talking their ear off.

LIMITING BELIEF: Women don't like sex as much as men do. They're mostly interested in a relationship.
REALITY: If you believe that, you haven't spent enough time around women. Here are a few facts that may help dispel that belief: It's women, not men, who have an organ solely made for sexual pleasure: the clitoris, which has twice as many nerve endings as a man's entire penis. It's women, not men, whose orgasms can last minutes or longer. Most men have just one orgasm and then lose their arousal; most women can have orgasm after orgasm and many different types: clitoral, vaginal, blended, full-body, and psycholagnic. In short, good sex is even better for women than it is for men. So doesn't it make sense that they want it more?

Mission 3: Operation Small Talk

Your first field assignment: Make small talk with 5 strangers today. It doesn't matter whether they're male or female. Doesn't matter whether they are young or old, male or female. The stranger can be a businessman in the street, old lady in supermarket lane, or a homeless person.

The goal is to simply start a conversation, with no intent other than filling in the silence with a question or pleasantry. The conversation doesn't have to progress beyond a comment and a response.

If idle chatter doesn't come naturally to you, scan new headlines before you leave your apartment. Small-talk topics include:

• Weather: "It's beautiful out today. Too bad we're stuck inside."
• Sports: "Did you catch the ______ game last night? I couldn't believe it."
• Current events: "Did you hear that ________? What are they going to think of next?"
• Entertainment: "Have you seen the new _______ movie yet? I wonder if it's any good."

Remember: The answer doesn't matter. Whether you receive a long story or cursory grunt in response, you've completed the mission simply by opening your mouth and speaking to a stranger.

The Stylelife Challenge Overview

Objective: Get a date in thirty days or less

Who can play: Anyone seeking more success with women

The cost: The price of the book – and willingness to try on some new behaviors and see if they fit

The prize: The company of quality women, the envy of your peers, the lifestyle you deserve.

How to play: There are thirty days of exercises. Set aside at least an hour per day – the days do not need to be consecutive – to perform the missions. Every morning, as soon as you wake up, read your missions for the day. The missions begin at a very basic level and grow more advanced as the challenge continues. Think of it as a fitness program for your social life. To get the most from the challenge, complete all missions in the order they are presented. Some exercises may seem basic, others may seem out of character to you. But, each new exercise builds upon the last so stick with it.

How to win the game: You win when, at any point between Day 1 and Day 30, you get a date.

Enjoy, and play fair.